My Burnout
Experience
This is my story. I share it knowing that it
might only help a few. If you are one of the few, don't wait, reach out and let us help
you.
It was a Sunday afternoon as I sat in the living
room of the parsonage. My eyes were fixed on the birds feeding beneath the trees. The
times of staring out the window had increased in number and longevity. Pauline was seated
at the dinning room table sewing.
Life had gotten heavy. Smiles turned into frowns
and laughter was no longer a part of my daily routine. People had become the enemy. The
hurts of the past twenty years came flooding back from the corridors of my mind. Then it
happened! I felt it with every fiber of my being and it paralyzed me. It was as if a giant
spring had snapped within me. Within the blink of an eye, that which I had feared, came
upon me. I was broken and I knew it. At that moment my soul mate, Pauline, looked up from
her sewing and said, "What's wrong?" Uncontrollable tears flowed from my eyes
and I began to shake. Pauline took me into her arms; I cried like a baby. After what
seemed like an eternity, she asked me once again, "What's wrong?"
I could not speak. Every ounce of life and hope
left me in that moment. We both knew I needed help, but where would it come from? I was
hurting and I had to get away. Pauline said, " Get a piece of paper and let's write a
letter to the deacons." When the letter was finished, I was on a four month
sabbatical; with or without salary it did not matter. We had no money and no where to go.
With God's help we found a Christian facility who
allowed me to attend and to stay by myself. They were very gracious in making an allowance
for my financial situation. As long as I live, I will never forget the hurt and pain, the
loneliness, emptiness and the total sense of brokenness. What was my life all about? How
could I lose it all in a moment of time?
I arrived at the camp grounds late at night and
through a series of events I was led to a house which sat on the side of a hill. My bed
room had four bunk beds in it. It seemed cold and empty. What I am about to share with you
is not meant to be dramatic; it's just the painful truth. For three days I slept, ate,
threw up and cried for hours. The cycle went on for three days before it ended. Years of
unattended pain and sorrow had taken their toll.
The memories of sitting on that lonely bench in
the corner of that field, staring up at the mountains, still fills my memory. I don't
blame anyone but myself. What I needed at that moment was a friend, one who could
understand and give me some comfort and direction. Days turned into weeks, weeks into
months and my sabbatical was over. What would I do? I made an attempt to reestablish
myself at my church, but it was not meant to be. It was clear, before I could pastor
again, I had to take a long hard look into my soul and let the healing begin.
God opened a wonderful door of opportunity and I
was able to attend college and further my education. I was determined not to be another
drop out. Two years had past and I found myself walking across the platform with my
diploma in hand. God had restored hope and He placed the vision of Trinity Ministries in
my heart. Within three days of graduation I was on the road headed for Maine. God opened
all the right doors. I traveled for two years, full time, throughout New England
ministering to pastors door to door. My dream became a reality!
This
web site is an extension of that original call that God placed on my
heart. I'm not a Psychologist or a Psychiatrist but I have gone on to
earn another degree, a MS in Marriage and Family Therapy. This has
equipped me with a deeper clinical understanding of depression, stress,
burnout and problems within the family around such issues as
communication. I am enrolled in doctoral program at Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary in
Redemptive Leadership and Organizational Develpment. . The Lord has an anointing upon me that touches
pastors, missionaries, evangelist and their families.
I
invite you to take advantage of our home and our ministry. You will
find it a place of hope and victory. Let me close with a touch of
reality. It has been nine years and the healing of my soul is still
taking place. I have met many ministers in need of help and they
told me they went on a weekend retreat or they had a few sessions with
a Psychologist and they are all better. The hurt of the soul runs deep
and has developed over time. Give God a chance to bring healing
in His own way. You are not alone; our stories don't have to be the
same. We can still help. I have ministered to pastors with a variety of
problems, including but not limited to: marriage problems, financial
problems, alcohol and drug problems, sexual problems (including
pornography), depression, burnout and suicide problems.
Thank you for reading this page. I hope you will
share our ministry with your friends. We look forward to hearing from you.
Contact Information
pastorbob@pastor4pastors.com
617-471-7360
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